Anyone With a Heartbeat (DNA) Can Find Love

Poor Lenny. My buddy has been single for quite some time, and I don’t think it’s because his name is Lenny. He’s hit up all the mainstream dating Websites. From Match to PlentyOfFish to eHarmony, it’s been an experiment that has turned up nothing but depleted bank accounts, Russian spammers and an empty heart.

Well his heart might be empty, but as long as his mouth has some saliva, he’s in luck. Meet GenePartner, the Switzerland-based outfit that hopes to take the romance out of finding a partner by breaking it down to genes and chromosomes.Claiming they’ve identified genetic patterns in ‘successful relationships,’ you can expect a match (that at least on paper) whom you have a likely chance of having a long-lasting relationship with.

So much for butterflies in your stomach, eh?

The good news is that there is no visit to a doctor’s office. You simply receive a swab, sterile container for your saliva and return-address envelope for return.

Likely unable to survive on its own, GenePartner is looking to hook up with one of the major dating sites as an add on feature.

23andMe, one of the first DNA Web sites I remember reading about, charges a whole lot more (about $800 US to be exact). The plus with that service is that it’s more detailed, helping you identify potential health problems.

I’m not currently in the market for love, but if I was, I highly doubt I’d go the scientific route. Love is a true mystery, with no perfect formula. Does anyone have a nice girl for Lenny?

Join Baratunde Thurston (left), The Onion’s Director of Digital and author of How to Be Black, for an entertaining look at creative social media campaigns in our Social Media Marketing Boot Camp starting February 16. Other speakers include Morin Oluwole (Facebook), Tim Devane (bitly), and SocialTimes' writer Devon Glenn.   Register now.